TAILIEUCHUNG - Peterson’s master toefl writing skills part 22

Other topics ask you whether you agree or disagree with a statement. Others will ask you to tell which is better or whether you support one thing or another. These topics require you to choose only one thing and write about it. Do not write about both. | 136 PART III TOEFL Writing Review WORDINESS A general rule in English might be that shorter is better. That is when the same idea can be expressed directly in fewer words choose the shorter version. There are several ways to do this 1. Avoid unnecessary passive constructions. See Voice on page 129 of this chapter. 2. Avoid unnecessary relative clauses where an adjective participal phrase prepositional phrase or appositive is enough. ADJ. The tall man bought the car. PART. PHRASE The young girl waiting by the door would like to see you. PREP. PHRASE The package on the table is ready to be mailed. APPOSITIVE Hawaii the fiftieth state is a favorite vacation spot. 3. Be as direct as possible. It was an important discovery. He noticed a pretty girl. She did enzyme research from 1950 to 1964. He walked down the stairs quickly. Not The man who is tall bought the car. Not The young girl who is waiting by the door would like to see you. Not The package that is on the table is ready to be mailed. Not Hawaii which is the fiftieth state is a favorite vacation spot. Not It was a discovery of great importance. Not He noticed a girl who was pretty. Not She spent a total of fourteen years from 1950 to 1964 in the research area of enzymes. Not He walked down the stairs in a quick manner. 4. Avoid redundancy repetition of the same idea . She returned on Monday. His virtue was well known. Not She returned back on Monday. Not His virtue and goodness were well known. Virtue is goodness. Chapter 7 Style 137 Error Examples In the following examples we cannot say that the first sentence is absolutely wrong. However generally speaking the corrected sentence the second sentence is preferable. We are calling the first sentence WEAK and the second sentence PREFERRED. WEAK The examination was finished by all the students within the allocated time. PREFERRED All the students finished the examination in time. WEAK The professor who was tall and blond lectured about medieval .

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