TAILIEUCHUNG - Writing for toefl ibt book 3rd eidition part 3

In addition, a solution such as golden rice treats malnutrition as an isolated problem rather than what it realty is - a symptom of the deeper issues of poverty. People living in areas where lack of sufficient nutri¬tion is a problem also suffer from other lacks | Introduction 27 everyone. Therefore all the friends returns home very happy after party. Secondly some people want to spend time with a large number of friends. Those people love people also they can get a good advise from friends. For example when they have a problem they can ask their many friends and then they can collect every answer. Therefore they are figure it out to fix their problem very easily. Revision Checklist CONTENT Thesis Statement Topics that support the thesis Main ideas Supporting details FLUENCY AND COHESION Transition words Grammar and Spelling Sentence variety Content The organization and development of the topic is not fully adequate. The writer talks about each choice but never accomplishes the task to express a preference. There is no conclusion to this essay. There is a good attempt at addressing the task discussing the topic in English and demonstrating a basic level of competence as a writer in English. Fluency and Cohesion The essay uses some transition words such as however first of all and secondly. There are a number of grammar and vocabulary errors which distract the reader from the meaning. first serious to find friends. This means the first one is very serious about finding friends . Because they dont have many friends so they can be able to talk with everyone. Because they don t have many friends they can to talk with everyone. Therefore all the friends returns home very happy . Therefore all the friends return home very happy . 28 Writing for the TOEFL ĨBT There arc some punctuation errors. Those people love people also they can get a good advice from friends. Those people love people. Also they can get good advice from friends. For example when they have a problem they can ask their many friends. For example when they have a problem they can ask their many friends. There are several spelling errors. te too Ihow though advieo advice Score 1 Topic 128 Some people say that physical exercise should be a .

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